Several factors can contribute to remaining single for a long time after breaking up from a past relationship. It could be heartbreak or abuse from the past relationship, it could be that you just enjoy your freedom of being single. The truth is there are lots of benefits attached to being single; you are free to do whatever you want at any time you feel like doing it, nobody is going to say no and you don’t need to get a green light from someone before you take action.

Without a doubt, being single is awesome and fun, as long as it’s a result of your decision and your determination. However, you can’t remain in that singledom forever, unless you are a single mom or dad who is satisfied and determined not to get involved romantically again, even at that love happens, but that is not our problem now. You have been single for years after breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, we don’t need to call pink “purple” here, breaking up is never a good thing, almost all breakups have some negative psychological effects. Now, you have remained single for years, you have had enough fun and now you want to explore the world of relationship again, believe me, don’t think getting back into this romantic world is as easy as pressing a switch on the wall. Yeah, there are some rare cases where some deliberately remain single for long and then love happens to them, the truth is you are not in control of the situation here, after remaining single for long due to a bad experience or heartbreak or just for the fun of it, you need to be deliberate about dating again, don’t just allow it happen, calculate it, plan it, make it happen yourself.

Below are just two, but very helpful tips to start dating again after a long break;

  • Know Yourself and Know What You Want

This is the most critical aspect of getting back into the dating game after sitting on the bench for a long while. Knowing yourself is not up for debate, it’s a must you know and understand yourself with respect to your past and current situation and also know what you want in the future.

Knowing yourself involves doing self-assessment which includes critically evaluating your past relationship by assessing what you did wrong or right, for the sake of making the new relationship successful focus more on what you did wrong and ensure you learn from it. In past relationship self-assessment, people often make one mistake, the big mistake is also evaluating past girlfriend/boyfriend during this phase, this a huge and gigantic mistake. First, it is called self-assessment, not past partners assessment, the focus should be solely on yourself. The truth is what your past partners did wrong or right isn’t going to help you in any way in your new adventure. For the good of yourself eliminate all thoughts about them and focus on you.

Now that you are done with your past self-assessment, you need to look into the current you, you need to know yourself. Know everything about yourself, by critically providing answers to these self-help questions for getting into a relationship;

  1. Have I gotten over all my past relationships: good or bad?
  2. How do I feel about being single?
  3. How do feel about going into a relationship now?
  4. Am I mentally, emotionally and financially ready for a new relationship?
  5. Do I need a relationship?

Ask yourself all these questions and even more, provide unbiased answers to them, if you are biased it’s on you.

You now know a lot about yourself, from the past and your current self. Starting a new relationship, you need to know what you want, you need to be deliberate, you need to be in control and importantly, you need to know what you don’t want. I know, it’s love and I might sound a bit funny with my point of view, but trust me, what you don’t have any intention or plan about is never good.

  • Don’t Rush It!!!

Yes, I understand, you have done critical relationship self-assessment, you know what you want now and you might have even found what you want. Please, trust me this time. DO NOT RUSH. If you rush it, you flush it, if you rush it, it might not last, you may end up giving yourself problems in the future. So, take a chill pill and take things one step at a time, slow and steady: snail speed.

Firstly, you need to understand that you have been single for years, for years, not just months. Regardless of the reasons you remain single for that long since it took you years to be alone, you need to be extremely patient before jumping on the speed boat of romantic relationship again. There is this adage that says “the patient dog, eats the fattest bone.” Some of us have that belief, that hunger will eventually kill the patient dog, in some cases, that is true, but not in this case. In this case, you need to be a very patient dog, so that you can enjoy your relationship. It would not be fair if you were out of the game for that long and you come back in without enjoying it or having fun, peradventure something bad happens again.  So don’t rush at all, take your time.

0ther Tips to Start Dating Again After a Long Break

  • Take care of yourself first: physically, psychologically, mentally, financially and emotionally, ensure you are in good condition.

  • Be open-minded: have an open mind about everything, don’t be too deep, be receptive, communicative and responsive with your prospective partner.

  • Make a change: change is the only thing constant in life, only the brave and bold make changes and its courage to make changes in this area of a relationship after a long break.

  • Be positively minded: no matter what happens, no matter what has happened, even if you have had the worst experience and even if you have been unlucky and never had a good relationship for once. You must have a positive mind and belief you will not be disappointed again. What we belief/conceive have a massive influence on what we receive.

  • Try again: Give that person a chance, if there is already a prospect and you feel he ticks all the boxes, at least some of the boxes. Be deliberate, ensure you are in control and give them a chance.

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