It is said that anything that has a beginning has an ending. The situation determines how happy or sad it ends. Long term relationships are expected to end in marriage but interesting to note that not all long term relationships end in marriage due to various reasons regardless of how much love exist between both lovers. Sometimes, even married couples see the need to opt out of their marriage because of irreconcilable differences.

Staying in a relationship where there’s no together forever in the picture is hard enough. However, ending a long term relationship is harder because most times it leads to resentment and bitterness between both partners as they cannot forgive the other for “wasting their time”.

There are ways to end a long term relationship peacefully without rift between both partners and they are:
  1. Have an honest conversation with each other: Talk about why you both need to part ways. Make your case and be explicit, make sure you both understand and agree to end the relationship.
Be real and have a honest conversation
Consider your assets – You were in love and didn’t see the end from the beginning when you both contributed funds to buy that house, cars and fund that joint account. Consider those investments you both own. Who gets what at the end of the relationship? Consider the children if you have any.

  • Make a proposal to your partner: Give them an offer they cannot refuse. You cannot have your cake and eat it. Offer them the house while you keep the car, split the money in the joint account equally or into a fair percentage. Be proactive and unselfish about splitting the properties and completely avoid involving a lawyer to prevent it from being complicated and messy. Be smart about it and who knows, you both can still remain friends after the breakup.

  • While you’re at it, have a solid plan: Of where to move to after breaking up – just in case you do not get to keep the house. If you get to keep the kids, what’s your plan for their upkeep? Who sees to their wellbeing, just you or the both of you? Where are you moving to, your parents’ house or your friend’s house? Have a plan and a backup plan in case things do not go as planned.

  • Don’t be a disrespectful coward, have a face to face conversation: Tell them you want to break up to their face rather than send that text message. Call them up privately and break up with them without raising your voice. State your reasons even if they already know and tell them this is where it ends.

  • Move out and stay away immediately: If you proposed the breakup, you should move out of the apartment as it makes no sense to still dwell under the same roof and pretend like you’re both good. Inform the kids of the development and make them aware. Cooperate with them till issues relating to assets, finance and children welfare are settled.
    Stay away from them afterward, allow each other time to process the breakup and heal to avoid kindling old flames.
Stay away by moving out
Ending a long term relationship is not an easy thing but at least, you can both end on a peaceful note without anyone feeling cheated.

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